Brothers & Sisters Trinity de Guzman coming at you right now from northern Thailand with my little puppy rainbow who is from me and my partner. I wanted to record a video because I know it’s been a little bit since I last shared a little bit about my life and about what’s happening with ayahuasca healings this is I’ll give you a little update about ayahuasca healings and but more so this is gonna be about why I’ve been so out of touch from you know making videos it’s been such an intense year and it’s been extremely powerful and beautiful in so many ways to really teach me and show me so much about myself.
I’m sure many of you are aware of what’s been happening with ayahuasca Church in the United States where you know we opened this church in Washington and then we had to pause our church services sharing ayahuasca so that we can file a petition with the DEA in order to get complete legal protection in order to continue to share ayahuasca in the United States and actually we have received a response several responses from the DEA and we’ve been back and forth oh excuse me over this year with them and we are submitting our final request for information from them within the next few days.
You know we’ll share more of that as that continues to unfold but first and foremost I just want to share that you know anybody and everybody who has had an experience with us as an organization and if you’ve had a negative taste in your mouth about what you’ve experienced with us it is nothing but our highest intention to make sure that we will balance the scales energetically and make sure that if any of you have ever donated and have not yet received your retreat then we’ll make sure that you will get that or something else that will energetically compensate you for the incredible role that you played in helping us get to this point in filing this exemption or this petition with the DEA to get the exemption so just a little update on the ayahuasca Church in the United States and if you want more information about how we’re sharing ayahuasca just click the link in the description but I won’t do more so share with you about what’s been happening in my life and the deep levels of self-awareness that have just come automatically from the intensity of this year.
I’m sure a lot of you have had you know a very difficult in an intense year because that’s what the flavor the theme of 2016 has been which has been like a purification. There’s been so many experiences that have been coming up that have really been forced to show us deep layers about our unconscious patterns or no beliefs or perceptions of the world that keep us stuck in a loop of suffering.
This year has happened and there’s been many intense experiences for many of us, so that we can see what is happening within ourselves that is creating these negative experiences or these challenging difficult experiences in our lives and for me one of the biggest things that I’ve received this year that’s been so humbling was to really look at the separation between what I thought you know spirit was guiding me to create and actually seeing what was my own mind or my own ego that was behind the the strings of the little marionette in other words where am i want to create from the mind and the ego versus where am I really being guided from spirit and I noticed that there were certain patterns that I had within myself that created situations that were difficult for me and rippled out to hurt other people and I’m sorry I’m human and I’m going through this journey like all of us and I’m only doing my best to of course to give to share to serve to teach to love and to be a being of light that can support others in that same path and yes I screw up sometimes and yes I’m still learning a lot about myself and my patterns and my unconsciousness that of course I’m doing everything that I can to clean up as fast as possible but it’s a lot we all have it you know we all have these patterns and unconsciousness and things that we do that hurt ourselves and hurt others.
The question is what are we doing when we see those patterns within ourselves what are you doing when you notice there are certain habits or traits that you have that you’re not happy with do you continue to live them and continue to act out the same scene in a movie with different people in situations that create pain and suffering within you and other people around you or do you stop and really go inside to find the roots of why you do those things why you act the way you do why you react or respond in anger or rage or jealousy or resentment or sadness or take things personally whatever it may be why do you do these things what is it in the past that happened that is making this scene in your life colored this way.
In other words nothing means anything but the meaning you give it and so everything in this life in this reality that we experience is a blank canvas so no matter what happens let’s say you get into a car accident that is a blank canvas that has no meaning but you as the creator of your reality you give that situation that experience its meaning whether it’s good whether it’s bad whether it makes you angry or whether you can not be nonreactive to it that is completely dependent on you and how you choose to paint that picture and this awareness of nothing means anything but the meaning you give it is one of the greatest gifts that I’ve received from one of my spiritual teachers about understanding that if something is making me upset it’s not the experience externally that is the problem it is inside of me.
I am putting projecting my own beliefs onto this situation and making it something that makes me upset and so ultimately nothing externally can make us unhappy if we can understand on a deep level that we create and we give each situation its meaning so if someone is bothering you if if you think something out there is making you upset it has nothing to do with that situation or that person but everything’s do about you about what’s in your own heart about your past about different experiences that happen to you that make this situation as bothersome as it might be to you does this make sense one of the greatest mantras that I’ve ever learned from another spiritual teacher of mine has been it’s not about what it’s about it’s not about them and nothing’s going to change until I do meaning whatever we think is making us upset it’s not about what it’s about so if we think you know this person is has done this thing whatever it might be that is making us upset it has nothing to do with that it’s not about them so we think we’re mad at this person because they did this XYZ thing to us it actually has nothing to do with them and nothing’s gonna change until we do which means we’re going to keep creating the same situation again and again with different people unless we heal the part of ourselves that is creating attracting this experience to our lives so we can finally see the root cause about why we create these experiences that are difficult or challenging it is only there in our lives so that we can go inside and heal the energetic charge that is creating that it’s not about what it’s about it’s not about them and nothing’s gonna change until I do.
When we can have that complete accountability of creating our experience and not blaming the people externally if we’re having a difficult experience this is the fastest path to our spiritual evolution and growth the fastest path to our liberation and our freedom from suffering and the challenges and difficulties that this human experience is so automatically filled with and when we can understand that we create every experience the good and the bad then we can start to understand how can we shift ourselves internally so that we stop creating the experiences that are difficult or challenging for us when we can finally learn what is it about ourselves that is creating that what experience in our past what trauma what memory that is long excuse me my camera overheated.
I just had to move out of the Sun and so just continuing from that last flow it just all comes down to what is it within ourselves that is creating the difficult experiences externally when we can really start to take accountability for every experience in our lives and understand that we create all of it then and only then can we really start to learn how to shift our reality so that it is more filled with positive experiences that really fulfill us on such a deep level and so my life and this year has been so much about going inside and seeing why have I been creating these difficult experiences why is there been all these challenges that have been happening with the church in the United States and even the retreats in Peru that we are running and it really showed me on such a deep level the part of myself that was creating from ego the part of myself that was creating from my mind not completely based on what spirit guides fully in every moment but from what I think I want from what the mind is telling me is important and it almost happened again in Mexico this year where I wanted to create another Center in Mexico.
I almost did that until I realized that I was following the same pattern which is this addiction to doing this addiction to creating an understanding that I have a deep part of myself that wants to create not because of the service yes that’s a huge part of it but because of honestly this perception that might come from other people based on what I might create in the world and also like approval from my father from yeah really my father and other aspects like this aspect of rushing into things and going forward with things because it’s just my mo my modus operandi my habit to just move forward with things without fully feeling if this is the right thing to do and yeah that served me a lot in the past to just move forward and then figure things out but when it comes to sharing this sacred sacrament of ayahuasca and to really supporting each and every one of you or as many people as I can in their path into themselves and really learning about who you really are your deepest purpose and a reason for being here there is so much more care and consciousness but I have to have with every step in every action and everything that I put out there and so this year has been so much about getting me to slow down.
I share all of this humbly vulnerably sharing my flaws sharing that I’m not perfect that I make mistakes and I’m sorry for every person who might have experienced something with me or our organization that was less than pleasing I’m only doing everything I can to heal myself so that these things are no longer happening and to just give the most that we possibly can as an organization family and community to really support others in their healing and we’re doing that in an incredible way and if you want to learn more about our ayahuasca retreats in Peru click the link in our description and I just thank you so much for being here to witness this journey this unfolding this levels of self-awareness that are unfolding within me and the non judgment and the love of being able to understand that we’re all human and we’re all on this journey together here to support each other be here for each other and thank you so much for watching this video I look forward to seeing you in the next one and with so much love I’ll talk to you soon.
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With SO much love, so grateful to help support you in this journey of a lifetime, ayahuasca retreat peru