People working on healing avoidant attachment often have trouble getting close and intimate with people.
Usually attracting people that are anxious, clingy, and needy.
This pattern can turn into a vicious cycle.
Which might also cause further attachment problems as well as a breakdown in communication and intimacy in relationships.
The differences between secure, anxious, and avoidant attachment will be covered in this blog post, along with tips on healing avoidant attachment in great detail, as well as how to build healthy and secure connections.
This is the ultimate guide to healing avoidant attachment and breaking the cycle of being in anxious avoidant relationships.
What Are The Different Types Of Attachment Styles?
There is much misunderstanding regarding attachment styles, what they are, and why they are important in relationships.
The term “attachment styles” describes how people establish and uphold emotional bonds with others.
There are three main types of attachment styles:
– secure,
– avoidant,
– and anxious.
Each type of attachment has its own dynamics and impacts each relationship differently.
Keep reading to learn more about the different types…
Secure attachment:
Individuals with a secure attachment type can have a high degree of interpersonal trust and comfort.
They are able to express their emotions and feel secure in their interactions.
Anxious attachment:
Individuals with anxious attachment often seek intimacy and may come to depend unhealthily on their partners.
They could struggle with trust and feel uneasy in close relationships, usually exhibiting greater emotional reactivity and may have difficulty controlling their emotions.
Avoidant attachment:
People who have the avoidant attachment style tend to emotionally separate themselves from others and may find it difficult to build strong bonds.
They may have a hard time being open and trusting and have a great need for independence.
The Roots of Avoidant Attachment
Avoidant attachment often develops in childhood or adolescence, when a person begins to feel insecure about their connections with others.
They may see relationships as dangerous and uncontrollable, which can lead them to avoid intimacy altogether.
This leaves them feeling isolated and alone, which can further contribute to their anxiety and fears around love.
This style of attachment generally results in an individual feeling ambivalent towards emotional closeness with others.
They become love avoidant.
Avoidant attachment is the inclination to emotionally remove oneself from others and avoid closeness.
People who have an avoidant attachment style may struggle to be vulnerable, and they may regularly repress their emotions.
By developing a more secure attachment style with knowledge and understanding, people with avoidant attachment can enhance their relationships.
By getting the right help, they can get closer to other people and learn to trust them.
The Difference Between Anxious And Avoidant Attachment
If you have an anxious or avoidant attachment style, it can be difficult to form healthy relationships.
In most cases, opposites attract and anxious attachment beings attract those with avoidant attachment and vice versa.
But oftentimes – whether they are aware of it or not – they come together to heal.
Anxious attachment is the most common type of attachment style, and it’s characterized by fearfulness and anxiety.
People with anxious attachments tend to be insecure and rely on other people for security.
While avoidant attachment is a rarer type of attachment style, and it’s characterized by a lack of interest in interpersonal interactions.
People with avoidant attachment tend to be emotionally distant from others and have little concern for their own safety or well-being.
Understanding the Dynamics of an Anxious Avoidant Relationship
An anxious avoidant relationship can have a detrimental effect on the quality and longevity of the relationship, due to the fact that one partner may have a fear of giving love, and the other partner may have a fear of receiving love.
This can lead to a dynamic of pushing and pulling between partners.
Often creating further distress in the relationship that can result in behaviors such as;
- avoiding closeness and intimacy,
- withholding communication,
- and acting passive-aggressively.
This type of relationship may seem appealing from the outside, as the couple may put up a picture-perfect facade; but behind the scenes, it’s usually far from ideal.
In such cases, both partners are usually incapable of confronting their fears and insecurities, which can lead to a lack of communication and resentment in the relationship.
As a result, both partners may end up feeling a sense of helplessness and despair due to the perpetual pattern of fear and mistrust that they are stuck in.
This can take an emotional toll on both partners and cause a lot of stress.
However, the good news is that an anxious avoidant relationship can be saved and move into a deeper love than ever before.
Why Healing An Anxious Avoidant Relationship is Important
Anxious avoidant relationships usually look like this;
- one partner who is overly clingy and tries to overcompensate for their lack of self-esteem,
- and the other partner who feels the need to constantly withdraw from the relationship due to fear of rejection.
This can create a cycle of insecurity, doubt, and fear that can leave both partners emotionally drained and feeling helpless.
In this type of relationship, one or both partners usually suffer from anxiety and negative feelings that drive them further away from each other.
This can create a cycle of tension and distance that’s hard to break.
But healing an anxious avoidant relationship is possible with the proper tools to work through the challenges.
Tools For Healing Avoidant Attachment
If you are struggling in an anxious avoidant relationship there is hope. Here are some methods for overcoming your avoidant attachment:
- Through therapy, you can better comprehend the underlying causes of your avoidant attachment and create plans for enhancing your relationships by working with a therapist who specializes in attachment theory.
You can become more aware of patterns in your relationships and learn to manage your emotions by practicing mindfulness and taking the time to focus on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. So much can shift through awareness alone.
- Use techniques for managing your emotions like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, dance, and visualization to help you handle challenging emotions and prevent emotional shutting down.
- For people with avoidant attachment, it can be difficult to develop trust and closeness with others, yet doing so is crucial for healing. This can involve practicing authentic communication, being truthful, and showing vulnerability around other people.
- Ask for support from friends and family or join a community of like-minded souls who can be there for you.
- Join a retreat that will change your life and aid in the transformation and healing of your avoidant attachment.
It’s important to remember that healing avoidant attachment takes time and patience to unlearn.
It’s not something that can be healed overnight. But with the right tools, support, relationships, and community it is possible to develop healthier and more secure relationships.
How Having a Like-Minded Community Around You Can Support Your Healing
If you’re in an anxious avoidant relationship, it can be hard to open up and share your story with others.
However, by joining a like-minded community of people who understand what you’re going through, can begin the healing process.
Community not only aids in the healing of your wounds, but it can also provide you with the inspiration and help you require to rebuild a strong, healthy relationship.
Retreats are a profound way to meet a like-minded community while also discovering many empowering tools to identify your patterns and make changes in your life.
In deepest service and prayer, from the Strength of All I AM,
Trinity de Guzman & Your Highest Truth
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