A Step By Step Guide To Stop Feeling Bored and Lonely
Do you fear being alone?
Are you constantly finding yourself getting attached to people because you feel the need to have someone around all the time?
Do you find yourself settling for less when it comes to relationships?
If you nodded your head I’m sure this article can serve you.
Being ok with being alone is the biggest blessing – finding a strong relationship with yourself is key.
This article will give you a deeper insight on how to transform feeling bored and lonely, to feeling vibrant and complete!
Why is being ok with being alone so important?
Building a strong relationship with yourself is vitally essential if you want to develop lasting relationships with other people as well.
Being ok with being alone is an essential component of this process.
You are the person you will spend your forever with.
I’ll say it again…
You are the person you will spend your forever with.
Yes, that’s right! There’s no one in this world whom you’ll be spending more time with than yourself! Isn’t that incredible?
So if you do not feel good with your own company, you might struggle a lot in the short or long term….
Not feeling good with yourself can lead to…
- Attachment issues
- Settling for less
- Feeling bored and lonely
- Lack of self love
Unhealthy attachment can be a problem.
If you constantly find yourself getting attached to people, to a point where you become dependent, whether they’re family, friends or romantic partners… sooner or later you might suffer.
Constantly being attached means you don’t rely on yourself for your own happiness but you tend to depend on other people, so if they happen to leave or disappoint you, sooner or later you will feel let down and lonely.
When you don’t build unhealthy attachment, you only rely on you and yourself.
Settling for less
You deserve the best!
You are settling to receive less than you deserve if you continue to surround yourself with toxic relationships, and unfulfilling friendships!
You are your number-one source of light, happiness and joy.
Only once you truly know your worth will you start attracting the best people in your life, those who value you and support you for who you are.
How can you expect other people to see your light if you’re the first person not seeing it?
Feeling bored and lonely
Feeling bored and lonely by your own company doesn’t need to be your reality, you can feel vibrant, complete, excited and thrilled by it.
If you start building the best time with yourself, you can also then choose to be around people who will be an addition to your totality, who can add up to your happiness, freedom and joy, rather than filling up a void that’s inside you.
Lack of self love
If you don’t feel ok by being alone chances are you might be lacking self love too!
Loving your whole self is the best gift you could ever give to you!
Once you fall in love with yourself, you will also fall in love with every second you get to spend with your being!
You can check out this article on radical self love to recieve some tips on how to practise self love!
So, how can I start being ok with being alone?
The following advice could improve your relationship with yourself:
- Practice gratitude
- Take a break from social media
- Cook for yourself
- Take yourself out on a date
- Be creative
- Move your body
- Connect with nature
- Do mirror work
- Ask for external help, if/when needed
Being grateful helps you with basically everything in life.
Looking at the world with grateful eyes can show you such a different perspective and it may be everything you need to find happiness and fulfillment in even the smallest aspects of life.
Practicing gratitude can help you find happiness in your alone time as you may change your whole perspective on it – from seeing your own space as bored and lonely to perceiving it with respect and joy.
You can start practicing gratitude by:
– Writing a list of everything about you that you love
– Expressing out loud reasons why you can be your own source of happiness
– Giving thanks for the little things (ex. Before savoring a meal)
Take a break from social media
Nowadays social media is so present in our lives, whether it is used to keep connected with friends abroad or for work… without even knowing it can occupy such a big part of our day.
Being addicted to social media, and posting pictures to constantly get validation can be very unhealthy for you.
It’s so easy to spend way too much time staring at a screen, scrolling down a virtual world that makes you compare yourself with the illusion of other people’s realities – which in the end is not the reality, but a way people choose to show up, as the best versions of themselves.
Comparing yourself to other people’s lives can be harmful and unproductive. Social media is not real life, and it can be risky for you if you struggle to be ok with being alone. This is why taking a break from social media might be really helpful, recharging, and motivating.
Some tips to help you take a break from social media are:
- Delete all your social media apps from your phone, so when you automatically open it, you won’t be able to access it
- Find a book/podcast/series you can dig into to replace social media time with
- Challenge yourself with a limit of time (ex. Minimum of one month without using any social media) so you will feel more motivated to stick to your word
Cook for yourself
It doesn’t matter if you already live by yourself or not… have you ever truly cooked for yourself?
Too often people tend to cook for someone else, if they live with their family they will cook some delicious meal for everyone to enjoy, if they live with their partner they’d want to share a great meal together…
Why not put themselves first?
Cooking for yourself is such a beautiful, healthy, and meaningful exercise. Food is fuel and the way we cook + eat doesn’t have to be taken lightly.
How to intentionally cook for yourself:
- Don’t wait for an occasion or a person to share a delicious meal with, set the intention to cook for no one else but you!
- Cook with love and motivation, chopping the ingredients with a purpose, with your favorite playlist as a background
- Once the meal is cooked, eat it with full love and presence, savoring every flavour.
Take yourself out on a date
Yes, you read it correctly! Take yourself out on a date!!
This is such an important point of being ok with being alone because if you don’t grow the most passionate romance with your own self, then, of course, you will never love spending time with your own self!
Once you treat yourself to the date of your dreams, things might change!
You can start looking at your alone time as an ardent, fun, intimate, and comfortable time with no one else but you.
Here are some tips for some great solo dates:
- Don’t overthink it! Just be and do anything you adore doing + being! Do you have a favorite food or spot? Go there. Is there something you’ve always dreamt of doing? Do it.
- You don’t need someone else’s company to put your best dress on! Feel the absolute best for no one else but you!
- You’re allowed to buy yourself flowers or chocolate or a ticket to your dream destination. With love… from you to you!
I know… Not everyone’s born creative, but this doesn’t mean that you can’t be creative!
Creativity flows in everyone’s body, if you don’t feel creative you probably just need to exercise your creativity and I can assure you… it’s so much fun!
Whenever you find yourself feeling bored and lonely while being by yourself, connect with your artistic side and go wild with it.
You’ll be alone, so you won’t have to worry about anyone’s judgment!
How can you get creative? There are so many different ways to boost your creativity, so just tune into your own self and follow what your heart longs for.
You can start with:
- Painting. You don’t have to be an artist to paint, but drawing, and especially using colors, can be highly meditative and incredibly fun!
- Writing. Just like painting, you don’t have to be a writer to be able to put down anything that crosses your mind into words, it can feel extremely liberating.
- Journaling can be a healing and fun exercise to incorporate in your daily routine
- Photographing. Go out in nature or even set up a corner of your house to capture a moment in time
- Singing and/or dancing. These two arts can make you interconnect the outside world with the inner one, allowing you to find creativity deep within you while having fun and letting go
Move your body
Just like being creative doesn’t necessarily require you to be an artist, to move your body you absolutely don’t need to be a dancer!
Movement heals in so many ways.
When you merge body and soul into one you can truly find a deeper connection with your own self, without mentioning how enjoyable and releasing it is!
If you’re not a mover, here are some ways you can start moving your body by:
- Signing up to a yoga course or starting to follow some yoga tutorials on youtube
- Joining an ecstatic dance event
- Making time to daily go for walks or runs
Connect with nature
Nature is, and will always be our fuel.
Mother Nature is such an incredibly powerful source, and when connecting with her immense energy, you can truly heal, find answers and evolve.
The importance of nature is not to be taken for granted.
Whenever you might feel bored and lonely by our own company, go in nature, sit by an ancient tree, by the ocean or on a mountain cliff and observe the beauty, the perfection of her cycles and timings.
Whenever you are alone in nature, you are never truly alone, but surrounded by unimaginable energy.
You can connect with nature by:
- Making it a priority to have some nature time daily (ex. Watch the sunset every day, have a 20-minute walk in a park after work, etc.)
- Choosing more natural ways of healing instead of pharmaceutical medicines
- Make time as often as you can to fully immerse in nature (go camping, have a road trip at the beach, etc.)
Do mirror work
Mirror work helps you improve and strengthen the relationship with yourself, increasing self-love and self-awareness, therefore it helps you find joy in being alone too!
Mirror work is a practice that includes you, a mirror, and your most intimate soul. It involves you staring deeply at your own figure mirrored back at you while connecting on a deeper level and expressing positive, loving affirmations.
How to do mirror work?
- Put yourself in front of a mirror and take a long, deep look at yourself, experiencing your presence completely there.
- Start admiring everything about you with deep love and compassion.
- Share words of affirmation to yourself such as I love you, I am proud of you, I feel safe with you, I see you, I am you, I love my own company, I am deeply present.
Ask for external help if / when needed
Asking for help is the most courageous and self loving action you could ever take for your own self.
If you feel like these tips are not enough to help you being ok with being alone and building a safe relationship with your own self, you can always ask for help!
There are so many people out there going through the same and so many people willing to help you achieve your personal goals!
You can ask for help by:
- Talking to someone about how you feel – if friends are not able to be supportive enough you can always ask for professional help
- Join a retreat that will help you dig deeper into the core of your problems and find the perfect solution
- Work with coaches who can personally help you overcome your fears
You are the person you’ll be spending your forever with
Never forget it!
Once you build the safest, most beautiful relationship with your own self, you’ll be able to attract people who see you, value you, and treat you like the king or queen you are!
Don’t forget that you are never alone, also in this healing journey! There are so many souls who are going through the exact same thing and they’re willing to find a soul family of inspiring humans who thrive for more!
Only once we feel good with ourselves, can we attract our tribe!
Trinity de Guzman & Your Highest Truth
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